Wow...I actually failed...

So, as of late, I have been learning much about my self. Mostly about how unaware I am of who I really am. This tends to suck once in a while when you think you are fine then you realize that you are kind of failing and need to change. Part of this was brought to a head today as I failed an exam in school. I got 78%. Not terrible, but not the 80% needed to pass, and not the 90% plus needed to really succeed. What I have been hearing since grade school is, "Kurt does not work up to his full potential." This said usually with some frustration. Well, I think I am back in that mode and now I need to figure out how to change it. I know that I can't give up on the whole air traffic thing as I have so many other things. I used to think I would rather quit than fail. I just realized recently that I used to think that. I think some of that mindset still exists but I need to work at changing that. I intend to change that. I will not fail at this. I used to think I could be confident with answers even if I didn't know if they were right for sure but I am realizing I pull back if I don't know. Now I intend to know the answers and if I don't, everyone will think I do. If I am going to fail, I need to fail knowing I am giving it my all and to this point I honestly don't think I have. I guess I could make a bunch of excuses but my only real reason seems to be a lack of self motivation. I guess you could even call it being lazy. That is not a good place for a 26 year old to be. I don't want to be lazy, I don't want to be a slacker. So, I think I am writing all this so I have something to look at to remind me of my goal of success. I am commiting here and now to get through this. With the love and prayers of the people close to me (especially one...you know who you are...) and maybe the odd hug and some kisses. Either way, I will make it. I guess this has been a little random. I have been inspired by my friend (I call him that but we never hang out cause I suck) Brian to get more of my thoughts out on here. I guess by doing this anyone who reads it can kind of keep me in check. I know, I used to think the whole blog thing was lame, and I kinda still do but I am going to do whatever it takes to have an ATC license and I think getting my thoughts out may be part of the process. Thanks for listening...or reading...or getting bored and skipping to the end of my randomness.

P.S. I love you Kendra. Just thought I would get that in there.